Yay, it is another opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite task
Dating tips for nerds
Therefore let me reveal my issue: we likes me personally some bashful, nerdy dudes, nonetheless they will not start a discussion beside me. We have no issue using the effort (no fear, no tact, with no pity, actually), but if I you will need to communicate with them I have a tendency to get fear signals right back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc.
I am maybe maybe not ugly (in accordance with the nice individuals when you look at the photo that is recent with good hygiene, gown feeling, and basic grooming practices. I am a bit peaceful in that I do not invest on a regular basis giggling and speaking like the majority of girls my age (22), but I am able to truly waplog hold personal in a smart discussion. I’ve no self-esteem problems or daddy dilemmas or «issues» of all kinds, actually (except with individuals whom utilize the non-word «anyways, » but that is why i am a doper, right? ).
I have been told that I’m too intimidating (i will be dull) and therefore guys will immediately assume that We’m taken because i am maybe perhaps not unsightly, but i am perhaps perhaps perhaps not flirting either (WTF? ).
I am getting sick and tired of holding the discussion for 2 before the nerdy man understands that I am perhaps maybe perhaps not planning to sprout a moment head and relaxes enough for me personally to arrive at understand him.
Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression him know I’m not that scary, really that I can give or say to let?
*relationship advice. You may take part in the second-favorite passtime, which can be nitpicking my sentence structure and spelling, should you feel the necessity. None of the stuff that is first-favorite in, though. That is a grouped household thread.: )
You hinted towards the end it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my spouse to how–skittish–I tell you is at very very first. It can not be much better compared to the dudes you are dealing with.
What type of signals would you distribute? Any kind of «you» language is very effective. «Name» language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.
You hinted towards the end which you do sooner or later obtain the nerdy dudes to flake out, therefore it feels like you are doing fine. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to how–skittish–I tell you is at very very first. It can not be much better compared to dudes you are speaking about.
*sigh* i understand, but sometimes If just I really could slip a Xanax in their mountain dew, ya understand?
What type of signals can you distribute? Any kind of «you» language is incredibly effective. «Name» language–that is, mentioning the person’s name–is better still.
That is advice that is good. We attempt to send «not stuck-up» (because sometimes people confuse «quiet» for «snobby»), «friendly, » and «not threatening. » We smile (but I do not giggle), We make attention contact, and I also do not interrupt them as they are attempting to get a phrase out (this might be difficult).
Wait, you prefer the quiet(ish) nerd kind? And also you’re at OSU? If We just possessed automobile…
Feh, who’m We joking? I would clam up too. Girls are scary.
Will there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that I’m able to offer or state to allow him understand i am not too frightening, really? First of all of the, i recently took a glance at your image, and my your ranking regarding the Attract-O-Meter is;
( perhaps maybe perhaps Not my typical kind, but I’d have time that is hard my eyeball-tracking nevertheless. )
In terms of advice (and because you can have inferred, i will be in your target demographic): a very important thing can be done in order to make a geek feel at ease is get him to speak about their favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis. As soon as you get him started, in accordance with just the barest of constant prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he will drop the entire shyness facade and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s help Guide towards the Galaxy/linguistic interrelations for the Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. As soon as he is run their program and it is convinced in him, then he’ll start inquiring about your interests that you are genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Interested. (If he does not, he then’s most likely merely a self-absorbed bastard, and also you do not want that. You want to work through the barricade that is initial perhaps maybe not in to the dungeon. )